I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
