I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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