sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
