I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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