i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
