Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
