I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
