Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
