I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
