Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
