You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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