god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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