i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
