I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
