What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
