Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
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Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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