So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
