I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
