I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
jump out the window naked night went bad
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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