you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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