i think my tv is drunk
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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