lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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