she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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