this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
