my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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