everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
