Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
