Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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