I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
