are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
