I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
