I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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