and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
