Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
