census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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