just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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