Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
