i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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