No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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