butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
