Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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