If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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