You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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