I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
