it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
