Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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