dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize