it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
