Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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