I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
