Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
