i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
