Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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