why didn't you poke me back
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it's like iHOP with fire
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
