and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
