I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
