I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
